A Quarter After Morning

About Last Summer…

I know it’s been a while since that moment I watched you walk out of my life. I’ve replayed that scene over a million times in my head since it took place. You came by my place in that yellow summer dress that compliments your chocolate complexion so well, a new haircut, and red lipstick. We were just going out to get something to eat like we usually do but you looked so stunning that I had to go upstairs and change my clothes…and you followed. You helped me pick out something to wear while telling me you wanted us to try this new restaurant so that it would be a first for both of us. Turns out that night was filled with several first for you and I.

After having a wonderful dinner I remember giving that new restaurant my first #CuisineKing Certified post on instagram and us heading back to my place. I remember toasting to 10 years of friendship and drinking white wine while watching Poetic Justice. I remember you cuddling up next to me like you always do but then you kissed me for the first time.

You pulled back and looked deeply into my eyes and said, “relax” and did it again. I was hesitant not because of you…I was hesitant because my heart wasn’t ready for it…but I didn’t stop you…because I was selfish. We made love for the first time that night and it was AMAZING! I really need you to know it was AMAZING and I think about it often!

When you called me a few days later asking how I felt about us dating and moving forward…I wasn’t ready for that question. I know you didn’t want to hear anything but YES as you felt friends make the best lovers and that we were perfect for each other…and it’s not that I disagree with that at all… I just didn’t know what to say except we should continue being friends when you presented me with the question. In all honesty, my heart just wasn’t ready for you at that very moment and here’s why…

Remember my friend who plays guitar that I call “Betty” cause she looks as bad as Betty Davis? Well, you were right…I had a thang for her and always have. She’s been one of my best friends for years. We were always flirty with each other and last June I called her really late one night and told her how I felt about her. I made a very serious advance off the late night and without sharing any details…it was received…but a few days later she said she wanted to just be friends. I took it hard and acted like I was okay when I really wasn’t.

I know how you feel because Betty did the same thing to me that I did to you. The only difference is I don’t hear from Betty at all especially after she got a gig playing lead with a major act and has been touring...so much for that friendship.

I’m truly sorry for all of this. I shouldn’t have jeopardized our friendship and I should’ve been upfront with you about what happened with Betty instead of letting you walk out of my life thinking that I just wanted to be friends and acting as if I had zero feelings for you. In the end I lost two people I love in one summer and it took me an entire year to realize that a love with you could’ve possibly been incredible if I was honest and vulnerable with you. You’re are truly missed…and even if we never speak again I wanted you to know the truth…

Here’s to a summer to forget…

Sincerely yours,

Aaron “Ab” Abernathy

P.S. I love you