The Metaphysics

Who am I? Am I defined by identity? Is my identity justified by the way I perceive my self, or the way I am perceived by others? There is undoubtedly a difference. For every action there is a reaction; and as long as I am interacting with this world my definition changes. I insist that I do not know who I am. My self reflection is clouded by ego and optimism. I recognize my attributes and with passion I utilize my gifts for both personal satisfaction and mutual gain. I believe there is a spiritual battle over my soul. With a noble resolve for my life to be a positive impact while I'm here, I face a resistance. This resistance will often cause me to fail. My every contribution to this world can be analyzed and a balance of good deeds and bad deeds can settle somewhere to determine exactly who I am. But not every deed is noticed on this earth so only one can know who I truly am. God. For everyone else, their observations and experiences that include me will develop an internal data base and their personal judgment will develop to reveal who I appear to be to them. Fortunately for me this site displays my accomplishments, which should lower the scale on the good side.

I have a desire to create. There is a certain satisfaction in controlling what represents you. In this case there is nothing more pure than art. Art is raw expression with no parameters other than what is chosen. I choose to fallow inspiration which will steer me from medium to medium. What is displayed on renderblitz.com is predominately digital media, but that is not where I started. As a young boy I didn't have much. I was raised in a home, and sometimes no home broken by drugs and alcohol. I lived a very poor lifestyle. Being poor in my view was a blessing, it gave me a premature maturity that assisted me through the hard times. I entertained myself by sketching or building with blocks and legos and executing role playing scenarios driven by my imagination. Most of my activity centered on creativity. In order to receive pleasure, I first had to create it. I learned the harder I worked the more pleasure I got. I believe it was this principle that developed my mind in such a way that I am able to bring a vision of beauty to fruition. Skill is discipline that no one is born with. I am not good at art because I am born with it. I am good at art because I have spent a considerable amount of time in practice. I oriented my mind to be creative. I have built the connections through mental discipline that allow me to succeed in it. This is possible with anyone.