I Like My Mother

Art Paul Schlosser

I Like My Mother
Performed By Art Paul Schlosser
Album UPC 634479203077
CD Baby Track ID 490035
Label Art Paul Schlosser Inc
Released 1997-01-01
BPM 145
Rated 0
ISRC ushm20308226
Year 1997
Spotify Plays 57
Writers
Writer Art Paul Schlosser
Pub Co Art Paul Schlosser Inc.
Composer Art Paul Schlosser
ClearanceFacebook Sync License,Traditional Sync,YouTube Sync ServiceOne Stop
Rights Controlled Master and Publishing Grant
Rights One-Stop: Master + 100% Pub Grant
Original/Cover/Public Domain original
Country United States - Wisconsin

Description

To the most part this CD is a bunch of weird romantic songs and some odd sound effects songs and might just be what your looking for to keep you amused on a boring day

Notes

Hi,I'm ART PAUL SCHLOSSER and when putting this CD out I was trying to do a romantic style CD(Actaully funny romantic or strange) but I had some extra stuff and the romantic songs wheren't very long so as you can see I threw some jokes in and a Bret Farve song(4) because Packer songs were selling pretty good and I liked Bret Favre's passing ability at the time.In doing this CD I wanted to go back to my roots of folk and blues because I was inspired by this acoustic guitar I had that had a bluesy sound to it.The Cover was a drawing that while I was playing Dan Huran drew me and then handed me the drawing.I liked it for the cover because I'm upstaging the audiance.I also liked it because my weird song Beach Old Lady is on this CD and I thought since I'm wearing a hawaiian shirt that might look interesting and hawaiian shirts make a guy look handsome.I choose red instead of black to go with the Valentine theme.The CD is also red and has a heart on it.
The Last song The Filler song was written live in the studio and done in one take.The Filler song is basically a song to fill up the CD so you get more music for your money.Be My Valentine is my longest CD as far as time.Well I hope this helps you decide-APS

Okay maybe I'll let you read some lyrics too.

Here they are:

1. Sound Bite

This is the sound bite

2. Red Hat Blues

I’ve got the blues
I’ve got the blues
I’ve got the read hat blues
I’ve got the read hat blues
R.E.A.D.
Read
There's alot of words on it
People read my hat
I’ve got the read hat blues

Read
Read
Read hat blues
Read
Read
Read hat blues

I’ve got the blues
I’ve got the blues
I’ve got the red
I’ve got the red hat blues
I’ve got the red hat blues
Yeah R.E.D.
It’s red
It’s red
Well at least it was red
Until I put it in the wash
Then it turn pink
I’ve got the pink hat blues
Then one day while I was wearing it
It fell off it got all dirty now it brown
I’ve got the brown hat blues

Red
Red
Red hat blues
Red
Red
Red hat blues

I’ve got the blues
I’ve got the rad hat blues
I’ve got the rad hat blues
You know R.A.D.
Rad
My hat is rad
You know it’s really cool
A lot of people like it
Well I think they do
Maybe they don’t
Actaully they probable don’t
Well so what
I don’t care
It’s rad
I like it
It’s rad hat
Rad hat blues
I’ve got the rad hat blues

Rad
Rad
Rad hat blues
Rad
Rad
Rad hat blues



3. Cat Horse Joke

Q:What do you get when you mix a cat and a horse ?

A:Well you know what, it eat the funniest things and when it talks it makes this sound: meheheow

4.I Like My Mother

After my mother died I felt lead to write this because my Mother was a great mother.

There's candy
Ice cream
Chocolate
Good dreams
And I like my Mother !

Mothers are sweet
Mothers are nice
They help you
Give you good advice
And they make you cookies !

I like my Mother !
I like my Mother !
I like my Mother !
I Like my Mother !
I really Like My Mother !

There’s Uncles
Cousins
Sisters
Brothers
Fathers
And I like my Mother !

And I pray God
You'll let my Mother live a thousand years
So I don't have to get a job or do anything
And I can just live with my mother !

I like my Mother !
I like my Mother !
I like my Mother !
I like my Mother !
I really Like My Mother


5. 5

This is the speech about the speech about the speech about the speech, which is about the speech actually maybe I should just sing a song.

1,2,3,4,5
A,B,C,D,5
5,5,5,5,5
Maybe I’ve been watching too much sesame street 5
Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco
5,5,5,5,5
My girlfriend told me to meet her at a certain time, when I think it was it 5

6. 4

4-4
4 4 4-4
4 4 4-4
4-4
He's a Legend
He's a Legend
Number 4-4

Brett Favre
Brett Favre
Brett Favre
Brett Favre
Brett Favre
Brett Favre
Watch him throw a Hail Mary Pass

4-4
4 4 4-4
4 4 4-4
4-4
He's a Legend
He's a Legend
Number 4-4

Won the most
Valuable player award
3 years in a roll
He's a Legend
He's a Legend
Number 4

7. She’s a Slow Walker

She’s a slow walker
But man can she move
Yeah she’s a slow walker
Man can she move
She’s a slow walker
But man can she move
Said take’s her a while to get there
But when she gets there she’s always in the groove

Rides her bike
Almost all the time
Yeah rides her bike
Almost all the time
Rides her bike
Almost all the time
And when she gets to the hill
Man can she climb

She’s a slow walker
But man can she move
She’s a slow walker
But man can she move
She’s a slow walker
But man can she move
Take’s her a while to get there
But when she gets there she’s always in the groove

She gives me the eye
It really makes me scream
She gives me the eye
She really makes me scream
She gives me the eye
It really makes me scream
You know I love to kiss her
But she's only thirteen

Yeah she don’t smoke cigarettes
It’s mostly bubblegum
She don’t smoke cigarettes
It’s mostly bubblegum
She don’t smoke cigarettes
It’s mostly bubblegum
She loves to laugh
She loves to have fun

She’s a slow walker
But man can she move
She’s a slow walker
But man can she move
She’s a slow walker
But man can she move
They say it take’s her a while to get there
But when she gets there she’s always in the groove

8. Never Grow Up

Keep growing
Keep growing
Never grow up
Never grow up

Keep growing
Keep growing
But never grow up

Too many people worrying about the bills
Too many people taking too many pills
Too many people making too many rules
And then their sticking their nose into what your trying to do

Keep growing
Keep growing
Keep growing
Never grow up
Never grow up

Keep growing
Keep growing
But never grow up

I don’t want to get to wild while I’m young
I don’t want to treat people like they are dumb
I don’t want to be a nit picky person
Hey there’s still time let’s have fun

Too many people worried about the future
They forget that we’re still living in the now and here
They miss out on all the beauty that is so dear
And then they don’t see the squirrels or the birds or the flowers that are near

They don’t



9. Swatting A Fly

I’ve got to get that fly
I’ve got to get that fly
I hate these flies
Their getting me
I’ve got to get it
Owe !
I hit myself
I’ve got to get that fly
Owe !
I hit myself again
I got him

10. Setting Off The Alarm

I hope no one catches me in here.

11.The Robbery

Well the robber broke into the bank
And he set off thee alarm
And though they could hear thee alarm
No one could see him

Because he was the Invisible Man
An the Invisible Man couldn’t be caught
An the Invisible Man couldn’t be shot
Cause no one could see him
In night or day
And that’s how he got away
He was the Invisible Man
An the Invisible Man couldn’t be shot
An the Invisible Man couldn’t be caught
And he got away

12.Yes-You Caught Me

Yes you caught me
Drinking Ice tea


13.Please Mr. Policeman

Please Mr. Policeman don’t shoot me with your gun
I’m just playing my guitar and I’m having a little fun
I don’t want to hurt no body and no body wants to hurt me
So please Mr. Policeman let me go free

I won’t sit and I won’t stand
I’ll hold my breath try not to breath if I can
I’m just gonna play a song and then I’ll disappear
Oops I standing near someone else’s beer

Yeah I was just sitting there not doing any thing wrong
Not thinking any evil thoughts just playing my songs
Well you know it wasn’t murder and it wasn’t robbery
It was the terrible crime of vagrancy

Please Mr. Policeman don’t shoot me with your gun
I know I’m just a citizen but that don’t mean I’m dumb
You know my rights but that don’t mean I’m wrong
Hey what’s so evil about a song




14. Beach Old Lady

Hi,this is a song I wrote about the Beach Boys because they’re kind of old these days and they’re getting even older and I was thinking maybe this something they will sing at age 100.

Beach old lady, Beach old lady
Beach old lady, Beach old lady
Beach old lady, Beach old lady
Shriveled in the Sand

Beach old lady, Beach old lady
Beach old lady, Beach old lady
Beach old lady, Beach old lady
Am I to old to be your old man ?

We haven’t had a hit in quite a while
But we still need the bucks
So even though we don’t got no new hits
We’re gonna sing the old songs that suck

Beach old lady, Beach old lady
Beach old lady, Beach old lady
Beach old lady, Beach old lady
Shriveled in the Sand

Beach old lady, Beach old lady
Beach old lady, Beach old lady
Am I to old to be your old man ?

Yeah all our grand children listen to punk
And some of them listen to rap
And every time we try to practice
They said turn that off it’s

15. Beach Old Lady Revisted

Beach old lady, Beach old lady
Beach old lady, Beach old lady
Beach old lady, Beach old lady
Shriveled in the Sand

Beach old lady, Beach old lady
Beach old lady, Beach old lady
Beach old lady, Beach old lady
Am I to old to be your old man ?

Beach old lady, Beach old lady
Beach old lady, Beach old lady
Beach old lady, Beach old lady
Shriveled in the Sand

Beach old lady, Beach old lady
Beach old lady, Beach old lady
Beach old lady, Beach old lady
Beach old lady, Beach old lady
Beach old lady, Beach old lady
Beach old lady, Beach old lady
Beach old lady, Beach old lady
Beach old lady, Beach old lady
Beach old lady, Beach old lady


16. At The Elvis Concert

Announcer :

Ladies and Gentleman Elvis has just ate the building

Elvis :

Thank you, very much
Thank you, very much

Burp

Thank you, berry much
Thank you, blueberry much
Thank you, raspberry much
Thank you, cranberry much
Thank you, strawberry much
Thank you, berry much


17. I’m Blue

I’m Blue
I’m Blue
I bought some paint
To paint my house
It was Blue paint
I spilled all over me
I’m Blue
I’m Blue



18. Sound Bite II

This is another sound bite


19.Commercial

This is the commercial
About the commercial
About the commercial

There is going to be a commercial
but we don't know what that's about

This is the commercial
About the commercial
About the commercial

They said there wasn't enough commercials
And since they already had commercials about commercials

This is the commercial
About the commercial
About the commercial





20.4 Again

4 4
4 4 4
4 4
4 4 4
Brett Favre Brett Favre
Watch him sell you something on TV

21. You’re Gonna Die

Someday Babe
We're all gonna hit the grave
Someday Babe
We're all gonna hit the grave
Someday Babe
We're all gonna hit the grave
Some are cowards and some just think their brave

Well some go easy
And some they go hard
Some go easy
And some go hard
Some go easy
And some go hard
But death’ll get you it doesn’t matter if you’re a Star

Well it’s sunny and bright
But tomorrow it’s gonna rain
Today it’s sunny and bright
But tomorrow it’s gonna rain
Today it’s sunny and bright
But tomorrow it’s gonna rain
You can’t add one day to your life no matter how much you complain

One day Babe
We're all gonna hit the grave
Someday Babe
We're all gonna hit the grave
Someday Babe
We're all gonna hit the grave
And death’ll get you no matter how much money in the bank you save

Some are Queens
And some they are saints
Yeah you maybe a Queen
And you maybe a Saint
You maybe a Queen
And you maybe a Saint
But some that say they are, often they ain’t

Yeah you better get ready
Cause you don’t know when it will come
You better get ready
You don’t know when it will come
You better get ready
You don’t know when it will come
And if you think your fooling God well maybe your dumb

22. Get The Lord Known(In Your Heart Yeah)

Chorus:
Get the Lord known in your heart yeah
Get the Lord known in your heart yeah

1.Got questions
Ask Jesus
Got Questions
Ask Jesus

2.Why go to an empty well?
Why go to an empty well?

3.Many seeketh but they don’t find it
They seeketh but they seeketh in the wrong place

23. Kum ba ya

Kum ba ya my Lord, kum ba ya
Kum ba ya my Lord, kum ba ya
Kum ba ya my Lord, kum ba ya
Oh, Lord kum ba ya

Someone’s crying Lord, kum ba ya
Someone’s crying Lord, kum ba ya
Someone’s crying Lord, kum ba ya
Oh, Lord kum ba ya.

Having a goodtime Lord kum ba ya
Having a goodtime Lord kum ba ya
Having a goodtime Lord kum ba ya
Oh, Lord kum ba ya.

I've got the Blues my Lord kum ba ya
I've got the Blues my Lord kum ba ya
I've got the Blues my Lord kum ba ya
Oh, Lord kum ba ya.

Someone’s praying Lord, kum by ya
Someone’s praying Lord, kum by ya
Someone’s praying Lord, kum by ya
Oh, Lord kum ba ya.

24. Oh When Those Saints(Go Marching In)

Oh, when the saints
Go marching in
Oh, when the saints go marching in
Oh you know l want to be in that number
When the saints go marching in

Yeah you know saved
My soul from sin
You know saved
My soul from sin
By his blood you know he cleanse me
You know saved my soul from sin



Hallelujah
Praise the Lord
Hallelujah praise the Lord
Glory too God in the highest
Hallelujah praise the Lord

25. She’s Got a Gorgeous Beard

1.I think I'm going be weird
I think it's today yeah
My girlfriend grew a beard
Ain't that strange yeah

Chorus:
She's got a gorgeous beard
She got a gorgeous Beard-erd-erd
She's got a gorgeous beard and she looks great

2.She said that she just woke up
And there it was
She don't know the reason
Or the cause(return to chorus)


27.Be My Valentine

Be my Valentine
Drive me crazy and blind
For your love I will do anything
I'll even try to fly even though I don't have wings

I'm a fool for your love
Yes I can be crazy and dumb
Try me anytime
See how love is really blind

Be my Valentine
All common sense I'll leave behind
For your love I'll even do time
So what if I didn't do the crime

28. Letz Danze

Letz danze
Letz danze
Letz danze
You’ve got antz in your pantz
Letz danze

Letz danze
D-d-danze
Letz danze
Yeah you think your from Franze
Letz danze

Letz danze
D-d-danze
Letz danze
Out your ear are 6 plantz
Letz danze

D-d danze
D-d danze
Danze, danze, danze, danze, danze, danze, danze, danze, danze, danze, danze, danze, danze, danze
Your in a psychedelic tranze
Letz danze

29.

Do you ever feel
Do you ever feel
Do you ever feel
Do you ever feel like your in a scary movie
And all of a sudden it starts to get dark
And all these eyes are staring at you
And dogs

Do you ever feel
Do you ever feel
Not with your hands
Do you ever feel like your in a scary movie
And all of a sudden it starts to get dark
And all these eyes are staring at you
And all these eyes are staring at you
And all these eyes are staring at you

Do you ever
Do your ever feel
Do you ever feel like your in a scary movie
And the music is really eerie
And it starts to get dark and all these eyes are staring at you
Are staring at you
And dogs start to bark
Ruff
Ruff Ruff Ruff
Ruff Ruff Ruff

Do you ever feel
Do you ever feel like your in a scary movie
Do you ever feel
Do you ever feel like your in a scary movie
And it starts to get dark
And all these eyes are staring at you
And dogs start to bark
And they get louder
And they get louder
And they get louder

Do you ever feel like your in a scary movie
And it starts to get dark
Do you ever feel
Do you ever feel
Do you ever feel like your in a scary movie
And it starts to get dark
And all these dogs start to bark
And the eyes
Eyes are staring at you everywhere
And you think some guys going to jump out of the bushes
And take all your money and kill you

Do you ever feel
Do you ever feel like your in a scary movie
And it starts to get dark
And the music is really eerie
And all these eyes are staring at you
And dogs are barking
And some guys going to jump out of the bushes

And you wake up

And you wake up

And some guys knocking on your door

And you answer the door and it's the IRS and you owe them 2000 dollars

30. Ordinary Blues

It’s Friday
But it feels like Tuesday
I just don’t know what to say

It’s freezing out
The wind is blowing about
And it makes me want to just run away

I wish I could be in California
I wish I could be somewhere else

I’ve got a job
But it makes me sob
Because I’ve got to work everyday

I’d rather sing
Or do some artistical thing
I only wish I could figure out how to make it pay

I wish I could be a success
I wish I didn’t need this job

I’ve got the blues
The routine is ordinary blues
And I feel like I can’t stay

Yeah it’s true
I don’t know what to do
But I can’t keep living this way

I wish I could be in New York
I wish I could be somewhere else





31. Rosy The Vampirra

Rosy come over
That’s what I fear
Rosy come over
There’s no face in the mirror

That’s what I fear
That’s what I fear
Rosy come over
There’s no face in the mirror

I think of you often
When I’m in the coffin
I think of you often
Your Dreadfully dear

Well I’m on the midnight train
Or is this a nightmare
Well I’m on the Midnight train
Your vangs are coming near

32. Ain’t Great

We need a lot of money
So we built ourselves a great big factory
And though it destroyed a lot of land
We’re getting rich so we’re happy
Yeah we make little white plastic things that no one knows what they do
But everyone is buying them
Because there really cool
And although we’re destroying the ocean
By pouring out toxic waste
We give part of the money to a good cause
Say ain’t that great
Ain’t that great
Ain’t that great
Ain’t that great
Ain’t that great
Even though we’re destroying the ocean
By pouring out toxic waste
We give part of the money to a good cause
Ain’t that great
Kazoo ~~~~~

Ain’t that great




33. You Can Leave

Is my nose
Is my nose
Is my nose to big for you
Is my nose
Is my nose
Is my nose to big for you
If my nose
If my nose
If my nose’s too big for you
If my nose ‘s too big for you
Well you know what you can do
If my nose ‘s too big for you
You know what you can do
You can leave

Are my feet
Do my feet
Do my feet stink too
Do my feet
Do my feet
Do my feet stink too
Do my feet
If my feet
If my feet stink too
If my feet stink too
Well you know what you can do
If my feet stink too
Well you know what you can do
You can leave

You can leave
You can leave
You can leave, leave, leave, leave, leave, leave
Make like a tree
Make like a tree
Make like a tree and leave
Leave
Leave
Make like a tree and leave
I’ll point my finger to the door
Yeah you don’t have to come back no more
Point my finger to the door
You can leave

34. Yeah

Yeah
Yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Yeah
Yeah

Yes
Yes
Yes, yes, yes.yes ,yes
Yes
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes
Yes
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes
Yes why yes
Yes why yes
Yes
Yes

Si
Si
Si Senior Si
Si
Si
Si Senior Si
Si
Si
Si Senior Si
Si, si
Si, si
Senior

Oui
Oui
Oui Madamesel
Oui
Oui
Oui Madamesel
Oui
Oui
Oui Madamesel
Oui Oui
Madamesel
Oui Oui
Madamesel
Oui


35. Sound Bite III

Oh No ! Not another sound bite !

36. The Filler Song



This is the filler song
Yeah I’m just filling up the space between the rest of the CD with this song
This is the filler song
Aren’t you glad you bought this CD because it’s got lots of music on it ?
Infact I decided to fill up a lot of it with just this song

Hey have you shaved lately ?
Hey what are doing right now ?
Do you know what your brother is ?
What about the police ?
Are they knocking on your door ?

Open up
Open up this is the cops
This the cops
Open up this is the cops

This is the filler song
I don’t know what it’s about I’m just making it up as I go along
This is the filler song

This is the filler song
Filler up at the gas station
Fill up this CD
Philip ran for president
He lost the election so instead he’s working at a gas station
Yeah he says they say to him Philip filler her up
Philip filler her up

Did I mention this is the filler song ?
Yeah this is the filler song
What do you get when you don’t cross nothing with nothing ?
You get more nothing
Unless you don’t cross it
Then you still have nothing

We’re going faster

I drop my a
I drop my pick
I’m gonna try to find it here
Oh I’m gonna have a little more ice tea well I’m here
This is the filler song so I’m just filling up this spot with all sorts of rapping and talking and rambling on

Yep
Okay I found another guitar pick here

We’re going slower
We’re going slower
We’re going slower
Were going slower

You know sometimes life is slow like a clock with elephant’s legs weighing it down
Other times life is fast like a bird with wings
And you no time for anything
Because everything’s going really fast

This is the filler song
This is the filler song

You know everybody likes kazoo on the song
So I thought well you know then maybe I should put some kazoo on the song

What’s your Mother doing ?
Right now ?
What are you doing ?
What about your parent’s parent’s parent’s?

The police are at the door
This is the police open up
We know you’ve gotta
We know you’ve got a joint in there no just kidding
I don’t do drugs actually

Well you maybe wondering why ?
Well I’m not here to tell you what to do but
I feel free
I don’t have LSD
And I feel free
Because I can think clearly
This is the filler song
A song so long
A song so long
It’s filling up the space on your CD
You wonder why you play it
And now your trying to get out of bed because you put the CD on and your relaxing and now you realize it’s kind of going a little long and you wonder what you should do
Maybe you can get your friend Ralph to get up and flip the switch or something
Or someone else because you know your procrastinating
But you really want to get up but I’m starting say something interesting
What is interesting
Interest from your CD
Interest from your CD at the bank
What does that have to do with this CD
Well this CD might be interesting
But your not going to get any interest unless the price of CDs go up and they pay you more for it at the used store
but I don’t know
I doubt that will happen

Your at the GBS network
GBS
GBS
Gullible Broadcasting Network
We play gullible TV show that we think your gullible to watch
It’s gullible
Gullible TV
You know you have to watch
Have to watch TV No
Gullible
Gullible network

This is the filler song
A song so long
A song so long
That It fills up your CD
Don’t that make you happy ?

Hi How are you doing ladies and gentleman out there in the audience
I talk funny don’t I ?
But maybe you talk funny I don’t know ?
You talk normal you think but maybe it’s funny to me
Because you think I talk funny, but maybe I talk normal and you’re the one that’s really weird ?
I don’t know some people are really weird in the world
They do a normal job that no one wants to do and they think they’re normal
But they’re doing a job they don’t want to do
Then there are people out there that people think are weird and their normal because they are doing what they want
They’re doing a fun job that they enjoy.
And then there’s some people out there that
Some people out there
Hey did my voice change
Okay anyways
Some people out there that think
Ah think they are
Lets see they think they are weird
No there
Well everyone else thinks their weird but their normal
I don’t know
Anyways

This is the filler song
I think that the recording guy’s going to tell me when I go
When I’m doing to much music here and I should quit so
Anyways I’m filling up the space
So that you get your money’s worth
For the CD you’re buying
You’re getting it fill up with this song
I’m not sure how along I’m going to go here but isn’t it interesting
It’s almost like revolution number 9 or something
Maybe I should say number 9 a couple of times but that might be ripping off the Beatles or something like that
Yeah I’m just making up stuff here


You know sometimes a songs starts out
You know you start
You start to think there’s going to be a really cool
A really cool riff
And then nothing you know what I mean

I was running
I was running down the street
I had to keep running
I don’t know what was chasing me though so I stopped
I just started walking
Then I started running again
Help !
I started screaming help !
Help !
Help !
Then I realized I was inside a vacuum

This is the filler song
I’m just making up stuff as I go along
Some of it’s funny and some of it’s weird
As long as you keep listening then you’ll get to hear
Everything I say on this song
Don’t you like it
It’s not short it’s kind of long.

I think I’m going to have another swig of ice tea right here
How are you doing out there listening to my CD ?
Is it good do you like what you hear here ?
Is it jazz or funk or what do you think of this ?

I keep hearing these you know it’s like stars or something
I don’t know they just make these little echoes
It’s like someone is splashing something on top of the water or something

Well I’m doing that part with my one hand
The other hand’s got a glass of ice tea in it and I’m drinking it
I don’t recommend ice tea unless you don’t mind staying up at night
It’s got caffeine and sometimes it causes you to lose sleep
But then sometimes it’s kind of fun I don’t know
I don’t know what were we talking about ?

Oh look out
Their looking in your window
Their looking in your window

Are we going over ?
I’ve got 2 minutes
I think I’m going to end this song right here

This is the filler song
A song so long it filled up the end of your CD
Don’t you like it ?
Well I’m glad you bought it
Next time you see me you can thank me
Have a good one

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